Change, Limiting Beliefs, Mental Health

I want to keep it ALL

“I want to keep it all! It’s all special.” Was the response from my eldest child when she saw a box for the charity shop of our toddler’s old stuff. She proceeded to go through all the things in the box and throw them out saying that she thought they were special. Inwardly, I’m thinking, “if they are so special, why are you chucking them all out on the floor?”. I held back from saying this. But trouble was brewing because my other child, who is much more inclined to get rid of things, and also to follow my line of thinking, was anxious to get the job of organising things done. A battle ensued, with one insisting on putting the items back in the box, and the other throwing them out. We were about to eat some lunch so we needed to halt proceedings so we did, and had a chat about the necessity of getting rid of things.

My mum is visiting, and she was helpful by talking about the fact she and her partner have special bags in which they keep their special things, and the types of things they are, like photos of me and my brother when we were little, a few choice handmade items… My daughter was upset about the conversation and was insistent that everything is special, and we shouldn’t get rid of anything. This was a repeat of the conversation we had a few weeks before this when we began trying to organise the kids’ room, and she kept removing things from the charity box or bin.

These battles made me think about the battles that have gone on between different sides of myself when I’ve undertaken an organisation task. The constant battle between recognising that the practicality of having something was not as important as the space that gets created by getting rid of it. Is it making my life better? Have I used it in the past 12 months? I have worked through a lot of changes in the past few years which has helped me recognise the importance of space, and I have found this battle easier. I have realised that I have held onto things because of a LIMITING BELIEF.

Once I recognised this line of thinking and belief as limiting my ability to move forward, I was suddenly able to LET GO

Beth Hardy

The limiting belief of thinking that if I get rid of something I will need it in the future and then have to buy it again. I stopped myself from throwing things out, or giving them to charity because I felt I didn’t want to waste my money on RE-buying things I previously owned. It wasn’t until I realised that by having so much stuff, I didn’t even know exactly what I had, so even if I still had it, I might just go out and RE-buy the item anyway. PLUS the space that they were taking up was causing me to have to buy new storage solutions since what I already had was full. Once I recognised this line of thinking and belief as limiting my ability to move forward, I was suddenly able to LET GO. I felt freer to get rid of clothes from older children for younger children, since I knew I could RE-buy these at the appropriate time without having to store the item – apart from those which are really special. I stopped buying things for the children if they were a bargain unless they were actually suitable for them right then.

Going back to my chat with my daughter, I realise now that she is sitting with some limiting beliefs which are preventing her from accepting change and moving on. It is perhaps a fear of the unknown, which can be quite a paralysing situation and prevent any movement, development or change.

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